I think I'm about to be benched

I'm 36w1d and I can tell my body is starting to give me big signs that it's time to slow way, way down.

I'm thinking I'm going to end up on disability early. In fact, I would bet money it will be as early as next week. Or I could even deliver before July 29 to potential pre-eclampsia creeping in. But guess what? Sammy is doing WONDERFULLY, and to me that's the most important thing. She passed yesterday's biophysical profile with flying colors in four minutes. She's an overachiever!

Please don't read the next few paragraphs and think I'm complaining. I'm not. I'm just reporting what is going on with my body because it's part of how pregnancy works. I could not be more grateful that I've made it this far and can even write about these inevitable ailments that come with third trimester pregnancy.

Despite physical therapy, my SI joint pain has become so intense I can't even do the most basic things anymore like cook dinner, clean the house, or get ready for work without being in excruciating pain with every single step. Kevin is doing everything around the house, and I am so, so grateful. Because even the walk from the couch to the restroom is putting me in tears. It feels like a knife going into my back/hip when weight is put on my leg, and then again when the weight is removed. The only relief is to lay down on my side. At first, the SI pain was only on the left side and was mild. But as my belly has grown and my joints continue to give out, the pain level is much more intense and it is also on my right side. I can no longer favor one side and limp around. I just plain can't walk anymore.

Even though I work a desk job, walking from the car to the office or from my desk to the bathroom is beyond-comprehension painful. I'm hoping to figure out a telecommuting arrangement with work between now and delivery (which I'm skeptical will happen due to our new company policies) or I'll be forced on disability earlier than planned. Leaving for LOA early will mean returning to work early. I don't like that, so I'm really trying to tough it out as long as I can. I obviously want to spend the LOA time off with Sammy, not alone on the couch debilitated before her arrival. But I'm at the point where I think I don't have a choice anymore. I see it coming soon and I'm bracing myself for that reality. It's okay. I'll deal with it.

And as for pre-e, my blood pressure is slowly but surely going up over the past couple of days. Until now, I've been shocked that my BP has been relatively low/normal during my entire pregnancy. And so has my MFM! I have pretty much every risk factor out there for pre-eclampsia and using donor embryos is one of them. So I suppose it is inevitable. It's not super high yet, but since it's steadily going up up up, we think that it is just a matter of time until it's high enough to be a problem. My MFM says that if I show even signs of mild pre-e after 37 weeks, that's an indication to deliver. I'm keeping a close eye on it but I'm happy I'm so close to being full term that it shouldn't even be a big deal if it happens.

Infertility has taught me a lot. But probably one of the most profound lessons is to just roll with the punches. If I try to plan and work around MY plans, that's when disappointment and heartache enters. I'm going to just follow doctor's orders, try to tough out this SI pain until it's clear I'm forced to throw in the towel, and then leave it up to God and the universe as to what will happen next. The most important thing is that Sammy makes it here safe and sound. And she's dancing around in my belly as I type this so I have a smile on my face no matter what else is going on with my body.

Anyway, I'll leave you with my 36w bump picture!

Sporting my new, shorter mommy haircut!