Beta is 8661. Doubling time is now 217 hours. The OB said if it was under 10,000 it was over for us. So I guess by that train of thought, it's over.
I cannot in a good conscience schedule a D&C based off of this beta not being at the 10,000 mark. While I may say that emotionally I've given up hope, I won't physically give up right now. I just don't have it in me to do that to this child of mine. I don't care how much emotional turmoil I have going on, I'm the mother for now and I'm putting this baby first ahead of my need for closure, even if I know it's going to end in tragedy.
I shared the results from today with the RE and she said she doesn't want to run any more betas because she doesn't think they will be useful anymore. I must say that I'm relieved about that. I'm not sure if the OB will agree, but we will see. We will rely on ultrasounds to determine where this pregnancy is going. I know I keep saying this, but by next week we should have answers. I'm beginning to feel like a broken record. Broken.
prayers! You're a great mom. Putting your child ahead of you already. Praying so much for you!
ReplyDeleteThank you, that means a lot.
DeleteMy heart is hurting for you and your dh. Please know that you are being lifted in prayer by many.
ReplyDeleteJess, thank you for the kind words.
DeleteI'm sorry the answers aren't so clear cut. The baby is making progress even though it is slow. I'm hoping and praying for a miracle next week. *big hugs*
ReplyDeleteThanks, Candace.
DeleteThis is such hard news. I love the way you have written this and the tenderness and motherly love that shows in your perspective about your baby. You are doing such a wonderful job of protecting and caring for this baby while he/she with you. Bless you for your faithfulness in caring for the baby first and putting your needs/desire second. Praying for much grace in the week ahead as you wait again.
ReplyDeleteJulie
I appreciate your kind words. This has indeed been incredibly hard, but I realize I need to be 100% a mom here and this baby comes first no matter how long he/she is here.
DeleteContinuing to pray for you.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much.
DeleteI'm so, so sorry. I know the slow wait for things to end was the worst and hardest part for me. You are doing the right thing as a mother in putting your baby first -- even though it prolongs an excruciating situation for you, in this case. (Also, ultimately, I think for emotional peace it's better to wait to schedule a D&C or other intervention until you are completely sure beyond any doubt.)
ReplyDeleteYou are being a terrific mother. You and your husband are in my thoughts.
I appreciate the kind words so much!
DeleteI'm so sorry for you sad news. My heart goes out to you. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jessah.
DeleteYou are doing a great job! When I went through my miscarriage, a sweet EA friend told me, "Something I would do during what you are going through presently?
ReplyDeleteI decided that no matter what, I KNEW that God had chosen me to be a mother to these baby(ies) as long as He numbered their days. What I mean is that I learned to treasure each and every day as their mother from the beginning.
Go sit and rock your babies in your womb. Pat your belly, sing hymns to them, read Scripture to them. Laugh at thinking about how cute they already are. Smile, cry tears of joy and eternal hope and you know what? The enemy will flee so far away! Rest in His arms and cradle your precious tiny ones during this time. ((hugs))".
I hope this helps you as much as it did me! Praying for you...
This made me just cry like a baby to read....something so bittersweet about doing these things. But you're absolutely right that it has brought me comfort. I have started to do this because this baby deserves it even if I know where it ends. It's just as deserving as any little baby in a mothers womb.
DeleteI know! So bittersweet. Both my husband and I cried like babies after reading her wise words. The woman who wrote those words had experienced like 6 miscarriages. Grateful that she is able to now comfort others through her experiences. Praying for your heart : )
DeleteLiz, I am still praying for you all. (((HUGS))) - Kelly
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Kelly.
DeleteI am so sorry (as I keep saying) I feel like a broken record, but this is just so hard. I agree with you about the D&C. Maybe just let mother nature take her course and see what happens. Either way sending you a big hug from Oklahoma.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! I appreciate the kind words and hugs.
Delete*big squishy hugs*
ReplyDeleteI wish I had some advice. :( So I just send lots of hugs instead. <3
Thank you so much. Hugs are wonderful. :)
DeleteI'm so sorry you are still in limbo -- what a hard place to be. I wish I had some magical words to make it better, but the best I can come up with is "this totally sucks." Thinking of you lots!
ReplyDeleteIt does suck, thank you so much for the kindness.
DeleteI'm so sorry this has been so long and drawn out for you. Many, many hugs being sent your way right now.
ReplyDelete