New clinic or old clinic?

I'm still recovering physically from the D&C last week. After the scary episode Easter morning where I was in excruciating pain and passed some clots/tissue, I thought that would be it and it was winding down. I stopped bleeding pretty much all day yesterday and even went back into work. However, toward the end of the day I started having pain again, and came home a little early and passed some more tissue! Thankfully it appears I've stopped bleeding yet again so I'm really hoping this comes to an end. The OB nurse said it's fine and to not worry. However, it's difficult for a lot of reasons. Obviously, it's hard to work when you're in a lot of pain and I can't keep running home from work every day. But it also reminds me of what we lost so recently when this continues. I feel like once my body decides to finally heal, I can really work on healing myself emotionally. Regardless, I have an appointment with a grief counselor tomorrow to talk about everything. I'm looking forward to it!

Surprisingly, I'm feeling better emotionally than I thought I would at this point. I think it's a combination of things. First, I knew this pregnancy was failing pretty much since our third beta result. So I had already come to terms with a lot of it so once it was completely over it wasn't such a shock. This isn't to say that I feel wonderful, it's still incredibly difficult. But I'm surprising myself at how I feel. I have a feeling it will sneak up on me later but I'm going to talk to the counselor about that tomorrow. Also, I think I have some hope for the future. 

I am also evaluating which RE we want to use for the next FET. We have loved the actual REs at both clinics, however some of the issues with my current clinic are causing me concern. However, I did get pregnant there so that is a huge plus! I just think it's smart to always think about my options just in case. There are a lot of factors that play into our decision as to where to cycle.

So just to cover my bases, I called my old clinic last week to ask about the status of their donor embryo program that they've been saying is in the works for a while now. When I talked to one of the nurses there, I mentioned our recent loss. She expressed her sympathy but I didn't think much more of it. Until two days ago, we got a sympathy card in the mail from not only that nurse, but the entire nursing staff AND my old RE! They all hand wrote their thoughts and sympathy for us, including the doctor herself. This is impressive considering what a huge clinic they are. They do over 800+ IVF cycles a year, they aren't a small mom and pop shop! To take the time to do that shows how much they care and I'm not even a current patient.

We had already been tossing around the idea of seeing if they would let us cycle with them for the next round. We would have last time if it wasn't for our current embryos allegedly not meeting FDA and ASRM standards. The FDA problem is that the genetic father lived in eastern Europe in the 80s. When my old clinic learned of this, they said they weren't willing to do the cycle there. However my new clinic said that because the embryos were created before the FDA rule came into place (2004 or so I believe) that it didn't apply. I emailed my old clinic yesterday and let them know this asking that they please reconsider. It may not even be an option.

Also a big factor is cost. My current clinic charges $4050 for a FET cycle. My old one charges $2500. My old clinic is incredibly convenient and is right here in Austin. My clinic now is in San Antonio (1.5 hours away) but has a satellite office in Austin. However, it isn't really that close to me and I'm still upset that I was told I had an ectopic pregnancy when I did not.

Lastly, while we are waiting to cycle I am going to get some more blood work done. Even though I don't have repeat losses, we don't have the option to make more embryos like many couples do. So my current RE has agreed to do a autoimmune panel and an MTHFR mutation test after just one loss. I'm wondering if I should request anything else to be added just to cover our bases. 

So that's where we are! Fingers crossed I have a pain free day at work today!

Update: The donor coordinator at the old clinic just responded. She said regardless of the date the embryo was created, they will not cycle me there with it because of current FDA guidelines. So I will stick with my current clinic. That's fine by me. :)