I've made it to 2dp5dt. Two days past our five day transfer, for those of you who don't know what that means. :) It's too early for me to feel anything, and it's way too early for me to take a HPT so I'm just trying to keep my mind off of it the best I can. Let me tell you, it's nearly impossible to do! Progesterone is evil because it gives you the exact same symptoms as pregnancy: Sore boobs, cramps, sleepy, nauseated and the list goes on and on. Yesterday I did feel a few twinges in my uterine area. I also noticed how markedly bloated I felt. But I'm chalking that one up to the progesterone playing tricks on me but what if it's not? What if....what if???
I've really been tossing around when to test. I've talked about it with Kevin and we most definitely do not want to wait to find out until they call with the beta results on Feb 22nd. If it's good news, we want to know right away. But more importantly, if it's bad news, we want to be eased into it instead of a big shocker and heartache all from one call. Either way, I've taken the 22nd off of work to brace myself for it one way or another.
That being said, I've seen women get their BFPs as early as 5 or 6 days past their transfer. Am I a fool to consider this? I really want to get a positive test during a day Kevin is home. I want to be able to announce it to him in the way I've had planned since we began TTC and I think my head will absolutely explode if I get a positive test on a week day where he's already left for work. That means the ideal time to test would be this weekend. Am I brave enough? Or I suppose I could wait until the evening of a workday next week and do it when he's home. Will I even be able to have self control to stick to whatever plan I come up with now? We shall see.
I have been so scared to completely let go and be positive about the potential outcome. Many people say they talk to their embryos after transfer and I've really tried to do this, but it seems so very foreign. I can tell that the one and only thing that is holding me back from really feeling this and letting go is the enormous fear that it won't work. It hurts so much knowing these two little ones are inside of me, but could go away in the blink of an eye. I love them so much but it's just hard letting it feel real because of these fears. I have prayed for peace and I waffle back and forth between extreme optimism and then major fear of failure.
One thing that has helped me stay positive has been fantasizing about the "how" and "where" I will tell Kevin about a BFP. I think about the tears I'll shed while I'm hugging him. I imagine the look on his face when he realizes what is going on during my big announcement. Infertility has robbed us of so much, but I refuse to let it rob us of the plan I had to announce it to him. I've planned it down to the minute detail.
And on that note, we bought a cute onesie for Kevin's mom as an announcement to her along with some "I love my Grandma" type children's books. She is a widower having lost her husband to cancer in 2004 and it will mean the world to her to learn of her first grandchild(ren) on his/her/their way. She has been 110% in the loop on our struggles and our transfer but we still want the announcement to be special.
My dad is recently widowed as well thanks to evil cancer. My dad is also blind. He started going blind at a young age but became legally blind in the early eighties. He has a degenerative retinal disorder called Retinitis Pigmentosa. In November 2012, he moved from Utah to now just up the street from me and it has been a treat to have him nearby! He has also been in the loop on our struggles and our recent transfer but I'd love to find a special way to announce it to him as well. The challenge is in his blindness and he doesn't read braille. Most of the announcements that come to mind have a strong visual component for the shock value. What in the world can I do that would immediately say "I'm pregnant. It worked!" without verbally just saying it outright? I wish there was something more special. Thoughts!?
For your Dad---you could always do something tactile or audio related. For example, you could give him a onesies or soft blanket and have him open it, you could read him a "grandpa" card, play a lullaby, or ask him to listen and read him one of your favorite children's stories.
ReplyDeleteAs far as testing, I am sure you will have a myriad of responses.....the two times I have gotten a positive (the first being a miscarriage unfortunately) I didn 't test until closer to time. The first was literally negative until the day of my beta----after my beta----and I was in shock it had "worked." (although my beta was very low) Again we lost those little ones but on my very last transfer I tested the day before my beta which was 8dp6dt (14dpo)----I wanted to cry all morning at church b/c my husband was still out of town and I literally didn't see anything on that test. I wanted to give it one more shot and took another test later in the afternoon when a faint line came up. I knew this would probably mean another low beta but was cautiously optimistic b/c I hear sometimes FETS yield late implanters.....sure enough my beta was 42 but it continued to go up from there!!! I think I would have been more discouraged had I tested earlier but I think it is a very personal decision :)
Good suggestions for my dad. I like the idea of tactile. Maybe a baby blanket will be good or a onesie because he should know what that feels like when he feels it. It's hard to mistake a little outfit!
DeleteI'm still ruminating about when to test. I probably need to come up with a game plan here otherwise I'll end up testing on a whim but I can see positives and negatives to early vs later.
I am so sorry about your miscarriage *hug*. I am so glad you have a happy ending even despite the slow start. This is very reassuring!!!
Yea! I've been reading along and praying for you even if I haven't commented on your previous posts. So excited for you! We opted not to test--in fact the only pregnancy test I've taken was to make sure I wasn't pregnant before starting my meds! So I'm in the opposite group on that one! My MIL was also in the loop and even knew the day we were to get our results as she was watching the daycare kids at our house! On our way back home, after getting the awesome news, we stopped at the store and picked up a "grandparent's" picture frame. I made a little sign and stuck it in the photo frame that said, "Picture to arrive in January 2013! Congratulations Grandma! :)" It was perfect....
ReplyDeleteI'll have to think on how to tell your dad. Does he read braille? I wonder if there are braille books or cards that you could order online? Or maybe a soft baby blanket or baby rattle?
Oh Tanya, thank you SO much for the prayers. I pray for you and Lucas too. Your story is very inspirational. You have some serious willpower, girlfriend! I don't think I could not test. I think I've kept the Wondfo company in business! LOL But I can only imagine how surreal and amazing it would be to not know anything THEN to get the good news of the beta like you were able to. What a cute gift for Grandma!
DeleteUnfortunately my dad does not real braille but I really like the idea of the blanket or baby rattle! Thank you. :)
I am planning on testing at 7 days post 5 day transfer, only because it is a Sunday and liek you I would like to find out on a weekend when B is home. I have read that frozen cycles can implant later, so you may want to consider that. Hope you think of something fun to do for your dad, but the truth is that just saying "i am pregnant!" is going to feel great enough!
ReplyDeleteOooh good luck to you! You sound like me and your head would explode if you found out at a point where B wasn't home. You're right, frozen's do tend to implant later but since ours were thawed from day 1 zygotes and grew to blasts, I think that makes ours more similar to a fresh transfer. At least thats the logic I'm telling myself. :)
DeleteI can't wait to announce a BFP to my dad no matter what, no matter how...you're right! Just saying it will be great!
I know a lot of people test only in the morning with the idea that your pee isn't as diluted. I only ever tested in the afternoon or evening, and I drink a lot of water. It NEVER affected getting a positive result. When we took our first HPT, I did it at night and then went and got my husband so we could see the results together for the very first time. It was a great moment to share.
ReplyDeleteAs for your Dad, do you guys ever pose for pictures together? I saw an idea on Pinterest once about announcing it to the family by having everyone pose for a picture. Instead of saying "say cheese" they said "say Liz is pregnant!" Then whoever is taking the picture snaps the photo moment with everyone's reactions. I thought it was a cute, if somewhat corny, idea. I agree with Kimberly from nogoodeggs, that even just saying "I'm pregnant" is going to be a very surreal and special moment.
I pray that you get your moment!
Yeah, I've heard first morning urine is the best time to do it but it's reassuring to hear you say that it may not matter. I'm really leaning toward waiting until after work next week so I've got a much better chance at an accurate result.
DeleteI love the idea of posing for a photo! I think that's really cute! Maybe I could have my husband take the photo and I'll have a bag full of baby stuff to give him right after the photo is taken. I really like where this is going....thanks for the tip.
Oh and we will have a souvenir to post on the blog after the announcement! Double points for that! :)
I got my first BFP 8 dp3dt. So I think you've got a shot with doing it on the weekend! 6dp5dt, right? That's the same embryo age :)
ReplyDeleteDH stopped allowing me to take pregnancy tests when he wasn't home long ago (I'd cry over BFNs and not have him there to support me) and eventually, I peed in cups and he dipped the tests. That's what we did on our 8dp3dt test. Luckily for us, it was Thanksgiving so we were both off.
Maybe for your dad you could give him a hug and say "there's a baby in there" or something.
Prayers! Godspeed!
Romans 8:24-25 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
I think I have a shot this weekend too but I'm so scared, Malia. Ahhh! I am so afraid that I'll test and not be able to hold the BFN from my husband and then he will sense my disappointment and nothing good can come from that. I really want to be able to give him my big announcement which means that I'll have to test with him not knowing though. I have no idea how I'm going to work it out but I'm leaning toward waiting until next week sometime. If I get a BFN later into the week, I can start letting him in on the BFNs so we are both braced for a negative beta. Ugh, I hate thinking about that but it's so scary. You know how it goes! Thanks for the support, it always means so much.
DeleteI'm so happy for you and can't believe how far along you are with your little miracle wiggler!
I understand! I couldn't sleep at all the night before I took my test... but if you take it that early, you'll either get a BFP and rejoice, or get a BFN and know that it may be too early to get accurate results. It was hard for me to wait the 8 days!
DeleteGodspeed! I read the term "PUPO-pregnant until proven otherwise" for your point in the process. You're PUPO! Woot! :)
OK I am not sure what to tell you about when to test... only that I can't wait to hear the (positive!) results! I just hope and pray for positive every day!
ReplyDeleteAs for how to tell your dad - what about taking his hand and placing it on your still flat tummy as you tell him to wait because this is the first time he is feeling his grandchild(ren)? Not sure how "touchy-feely" you are with him or if that is too weird but I think it would be sweet!
No matter what you know we are here thinking of you and sending BIG prayers, sticky thoughts and everything your way!
So cute! Yes, I love this idea. I know he'd love that too. What a crazy thought when you think about it too that he actually would be touching them for the first time. I love it.
DeleteThank you so much for the constant support and prayers. We obviously wouldn't be here without you and for that we are eternally grateful.
On our FETs we've gotten positive tests at 5dpt and 6dpt of hatching blastocysts, so it's definitely not unreasonable to test that early. However, and this is a big however, I'd only test that early if you are going to be able to interpret a BFN as a Big Fat No Data Yet, because you're definitely not out of the running with a lack of a second line that early. If a negative test would really make you sad, then wait until 9dpt -- that's the point at which a negative test is more conclusive, since that's "the day your period is due". Our clinic does betas at 10dpt.
ReplyDeleteIf you have a more touchy-feely relationship with your dad, I love the last poster's idea - I would tell him you have someone special to introduce him to, put his hand on your nonexistent bump and tell him that it'll be another 9 months before he can hold them properly but you know they're excited to meet him. :)
I'm hoping I have the strength to test, get a BFN, and still have a happy day. That's the part I'm afraid of. Logic will tell me it's too soon, but my emotions won't always listen to logic and I have a feeling it would wreck my day to test early and get a BFN. We will see! Many women on the online infertility board I am on have recently tested positive at 5dp5dt so maybe it's a sign? We shall see.
DeleteYes, I love vicky's suggestion too! So sweet. :)